Why...
I have admittedly procrastinated on this post, the why we started Lili's Legacy. The many reason are all so dear to my heart that they bring up more emotions than I care to sort through most days, but.... in light of recent events... its time.Lili (pronounced Leelee) was my mother's, Lisa Regan Frazier, grandmother name. Although, it was more often pronounced Yiyi by my son. Yiyi's Yegacy just didn't have the same ring to it, so we stuck with Lili.
On September 11, 2007 my mother was diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer, by the time the cancer was found there were already metastases in several places in her bone. Life immediately changed. Cancer. Just the word itself brings up many emotions. I had already lost my paternal grandmother to breast cancer at 17, in my world cancer meant no hope, no future. I was not ready to accept this fate for my mother, and luckily, she wasn't either. After her initial treatment of radiation didn't work as well as planned she started the first of many chemotherapy treatments. She had oral treatments, she had I.V. treatments, approved and experimental treatments. Overall, she was very lucky in terms of side effects, they were usually generally mild and didn't last long. She lost her hair quickly and it grew back in several different textures and colors. We learned what worked and what didn't in terms of cut and coloring (just FYI- DON'T dye hair when being treated with chemo...orange is not a good color on anyone). Life became about making it to the next scan and praying for "stable". Never had the word stable meant so much. Stable meant she was still winning, stable meant we had more time, more memories, more vacations, more laughs, and more singing.
Eventually Dr. Prakash and his wonderful staff could do no more here in Paris, so she went to MD Anderson in Houston. There, Dr. Wheler was optimistic about treatment and started her on a clinical trial that Mom was on for over a year, longer than anyone else had been. By this time, the cancer was also in her lungs and soon after moved to her brain also. With each new setback Mom had a positive outlook, she knew she wasn't done fighting. She continued fighting and working, even making weekly trips to Houston for a couple of months. In November 2013 she started a new treatment that had her in hospital within seven days for renal failure. She left the hospital in Paris and went straight to MD Anderson for her monthly appointments. At MD Anderson they told us the words we'd been avoiding for 6 years...no more treatments. No matter how much you know its coming in your head, no matter how long you've had to prepare, these words are traumatizing. She was put in MDA's Supportive Care Unit (their fancy word for hospice). But, she wasn't done... a week later she left with our family for Colorado. Fighter, overcomer, amazing, stubborn... whatever you call her, she knew her God wasn't done with her. She continued to live her life with an oxygen tank (usually...go back to that stubborn) in tow. February 25th my brother found me at work and told me that Mom was acting strange the night before, she wasn't able to stay awake and seemed disoriented. After school I went to check on her and knew she wasn't o.k. She let me take her to the hospital ( which said a lot about how she felt). After a few days of disorientation, extreme fatigue, and no answers Dr. Singh agreed to do the scans she was scheduled for that week in Houston. Her brain was clear, a huge relief, but there was a mass on her heart. We didn't even know this was possible. In the midst of the pain I have to stand amazed that she fought and lived with this advanced disease for so long it began finding other, less common places, to hide. At that point, Dr. Prakash sat down with us and told us the words we had been running from since that first day in his office, once again we heard "no more treatment". This time we knew it was true.
Mom left the hospital on March first and went to my grandparents house on hospice. Justin was set to get married on May 10th and in fear that Mom might not be there him & Katie had a small (& humorous) ceremony at my Grandfather's church, with Mom there with him. This proved to be a huge blessing, we lost Mom the following Sunday, March 16th. She left her Earthly home surrounded by her family and friends. We hated to let go, but we know she is cancer free and living the life we all long for. We had a great week the week before, she was up out of bed some, we laughed, and we got to say all the things we needed to. She left this Earth singing her praises to God, just the way she would have wanted.
The past 3 1/2 months have been unbelievably hard. I miss my Mom, Gage misses his Lili, Michael misses his mentor and friend, Mimi & Papa miss their daughter, Justin & Shannon miss their sister, Drew misses his aunt, SERG miss their SERG sister, and there are so many more that I know miss her by the things they say and do. She left a great legacy for us all. Never give up, praise God in all you do (even if its not your plan), love all ( even when you don't want to, serve others (even when its dirty and you have no running water), sing loud (even if its bad), dance( even if you get laughed at), laugh (long and hard until you snort!)
I will forever miss my mom, but in her service notes (remember that stubborn part) she left us a challenge to "get off our asses" and "do something!" Lili's Legacy is my way of just doing that. I hope to make an impact on at least one person through Lili's Legacy.
One of the most imporant things I (as well as the other Lili's Legacy volunteers) learned from Mom was how to help those
who want to fight and who want to have hope. We all learned so much
over the last six 1/2 years and we want to use that knowledge to help
others. The community is overwhelmingly in support of this, too, the
numbers prove it.
So
what does this mean? We have formed a non profit association (yes the
donation is a write off to a charitable entity). Lili's Legacy has
a mission -- and that is to bring hope to the lives of those overcoming their battle with cancer. We'll be spending a portion of our
funds each month on helping people with life needs (bills) and with well being
needs (those things that improve the quality of life) . We invite you to join us as we help others, whether it is by
giving money, knowledge, time or in-kind donations,
or whether it is by accepting our help. We hope you will!
To the moon and back, Mama!
Regan Plata
